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Name: Skits 1999 Year: 1999 Era: Silver Years Type: Collection Development Time: 1 year(s)  Description: -Murder Mystery -Spring/Summer Collection of Male Working Men Outwear -Lemonade Stand -The Evil Pen that Gave Answers -Judge Mental 1 -Judge Mental 2 -Butch -Business Lunch -Mc #20 - Surcharge -Rabid Doctor -Duct tape Shoes -Murder Mystery (John, Chris, Dann, Hobbes) This was movie where a fake contest took place in order for people to call in and tell who they think the murderer is. The movie begins and Hobbes is sleeping, while Chris walks down the hall with a gun. Then the announcer is back stating how thrilling that was, and you should call if you know who the murderer is. Then they break to commercials about yo-yo's (Japanese yo-yo and MS Yo-Yo) and never return. -Spring/Summer Collection of Male Working Men Outwear (Dann, John, Chris, Hobbes, Amy) A fashion show for the latest in male...fashion. Before the excitement begins, one of the male models is interviewed and says he's so excited, and he plans to wear the clothes next year. Then we begin with the Techno collection, with full length pink gowns, French waistlines and a cool hat. Then we have the Excuse-wear collection starring Hobbes, a Columbine trenchcoat and someone who's been shot. Finally the sophisticated collection features jean jackets and a sombrero covered in a pink boa. Two critics are asked for their opinions; one says he likes the clothes, but the models just aren't having any fun. The other says he's going to get some of those clothes for Millie. He picked up a half shirt himself and is wearing it right now. It sure is last season. Then all the models come out and take a bow. -Lemonade Stand (Chris, John) A boy has a lemonade stand, and another basketball player is thirsty, so he wants a drink. The lemonade is 10 cents, but he's charging $1.90. This turns out to be for the cup, the lemonade is 10 cents, making it $2 even. Drinking it is free, but as he pours the drink, it spills and the container falls over and empties half the contents. The other guy looks at the liquid and sees sawdust in it and then takes a drink and runs away gagging. -The Evil Pen that Gave Answers (John, Chris, Dann) A boy is taking the SAT's and doesn't know any of the answers. Luckily his pen can talk and gives him answers, but they're all wrong, because the pen is evil. When he gets the results of the test he gets a 200, which he thinks is twice perfect, but is told that's the minimum and basically the same as putting his name on it. But he did put is name on it, he optimistically says, and then the evil pen laughs. -Judge Mental 1 & 2 (John, Chris, Dann) Judge Mental is an evil judge who has no patience, and wants results now, now, now! He gives up halfway through a case and orders the two people to death, but they get to choose how. On the second trial he doesn't bother starting and orders the two people to death right away. -Butch (Chris, John, Dann) A man sees a lady in a comedy club and goes over to give her a flower. He finds out her name is Butch (on her birth certificate), and her friends call her 'pits'. She starts farting and tries to distract him by calling attention to the pretty drums. But the smell kills the drummer, so she blames it on the guy, and then leaves. The guy starts coughing and begs for Jerry Seinfeld to save him. -Business Lunch (Chris, John, Dann) Two business men are having lunch and notice that there is a hand in their drink. They thought it was one of those decorations that are usually in a drink, but take it out and find crusty blood in the bottom. The waiter comes after being called and they notice his hand is missing! But it's the wrong one, so they just want something else to drink. He brings back a cup containing two eyeballs and a noseless dog. They order another replacement and he brings back a cup containing an electrical outlet and a muffin, but they also notice he's missing the other hand now. But they loose interest and just decide to eat the muffins and eyeballs. Finally the waiter comes back and shows them his real hand, which is burnt and bloody down to the bones. They are disgusted and don't feel like eating anymore. -Mc #20 - Surcharge (John, Chris, Dann) A man orders something at Mc, and tries to pay for it with his MasterCard, which they don't take, then Visa, which they also don't take and finally with American Express, which they do take. The order cost 5 cents, and the total comes to $5million, due to the surcharge. There's a surcharge every time you charge, get the pun. The a midget comes by and orders a little fry, but they only have a small fry. They don't take American Express, but now take Visa. The surcharge is $5billion now, and the little guy collapses. -Rabid Doctor (Chris, John) A man goes to the doctor because it hurts when he stands up. The doctor tells him to lie down, but that will straighten him out. The doctor is also foaming at the mouth. He claims he got the shot, but there are seven shots. He then hits the guy in the knee and stomach with a nail hammer, and get kicked back. Finally he tries to wipe some foam on the guy who finally has to fight back, and knocks out the doctor. -Duct tape Shoes (John, Chris, Dann) Some people are playing basketball, and another player comes and wants to join. He brought his new Duct tape shoes and thinks he will now have an edge, but they just stick to the ground, and he can't move. Characters: (36) Backpain Patient - John Heins Business Man 1 - John Heins Business Man 2 - Chris Thombs Butch - Chris Thombs Butch Suitor - John Heins Cat Model - Hobbes Credit Card Man - Chris Thombs Defendant 1 - Dann Thombs Defendant 2 - Dann Thombs Evil Pen - Chris Thombs Fashion Critic 1 - Chris Thombs Fashion Critic 2 - John Heins Fashion Show Announcer - Dann Thombs Hobbes - Hobbes Judge Mental - John Heins Lemonade Buyer - John Heins Lemonade Seller - Chris Thombs Little Guy - Dann Thombs Male Model 1 - Chris Thombs Male Model 2 - John Heins Male Model 3 - Dann Thombs Male Model 4 - Amy Thombs Manny - Chris Thombs Mc Customer #20 - Chris Thombs Mc Employee #20 - John Heins Murderer - Chris Thombs Not a Masterpiece Host - John Heins One-Armed Waiter - Dann Thombs Plaintiff 1 - Chris Thombs Plaintiff 2 - Chris Thombs Rabid Doctor - Chris Thombs Restraunt Drummer - Dann Thombs Test Taker - John Heins Yo-yo Man 1 - Dann Thombs Yo-yo Man 2 - Chris Thombs Yo-yo Man 3 - John Heins Grouped Characters: (1) Mc Employees View all character details
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